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Showing posts from 2011

3 Exercises to Improve Your Relationships and Life Balance

3 Exercises to Improve Your Relationships and Life Balance The only true measure of wealth or success is relationships , and polls show that more than 90 percent of Americans agree. This doesn’t mean achievements in other areas are not important, but it does suggest they are the means to the end—the end being happiness and fulfillment in our families. We work hard, we build companies, we make money…. but we do it for our families so we can enjoy our relationships more. But let’s be honest. Our lifestyles and our expenditure of time and energy don’t always reflect the priorities we claim. Why do we pay more lip service than real effort to putting family first? Why do we give so much more time and mental energy to our achievements than to our relationships? Could it be that we have become more skilled at achieving than at relating? Are we better at setting goals for our work than for our home? And does the fact that we get more kudos and recognition for career accomplishment than fo

The Comparing Trap

When I joined the Harvard Business School faculty, I received cards and letters from friends and family congratulating me on achieving one of the ultimate brass rings of academics. I felt pretty good about myself until I visited my assigned office in Morgan Hall. In an adjacent office was a colleague who had written something like 12 books and was an internationally recognized scholar in the area of organizational innovation. He had a beautiful summer house near Cape Cod. In addition, he was gracious and supportive. There wasn't much to dislike. So every day I came to work and walked past his office door, I felt like I was behind in the race. Compared with my colleague, I had accomplished so little over such a long career; my two measly books were more like an embarrassment, given his output. When I passed his office and he wasn't there, I was sure that he was meeting with Jack Welch or someone famous. And as much as I wanted to dislike him, I found myself disliking me becaus

Dealing with your boss.

Would you like a better boss? A boss who helps you obtain valuable information, win needed resources, and secure important support for your group and for you personally — in short, a boss who's a real ally and partner? If your boss provides these benefits, you're lucky. We hear far more complaints than praise from people about their bosses. If you're unlucky, this blog is for you, and its message is simple — your relationship with your boss is less a matter of luck than you think. When we talk to managers with complaints, we find they usually assume the relationship rests entirely in the hands of the boss. It is what the boss makes it, and there's little they can do to change it. Do you assume that it's your boss who sets the tone in your relationship? If so, test that assumption. Almost certainly, you have more ability than you think to shape how you work together. After all, it's a relationship of mutual dependence. You each need the other to succeed. Unless

How to create collaboration among team members

The first thing to recognize about collaboration is that it is something that best happens over a period of time, with a "warm-up" period before critical work happens. Just like a runner, you don't want to do a 10K cold. You need to get things loosened up first. Recent study among college students indicate that, student moving into the workforce are even less well prepared for good collaborative experiences since collaboration requires empathy, being able to look at a problem from other peoples' perspectives. Unless you are going for a "Team of Rivals" approach, sustainable collaboration is best when the people know and trust each other. Ideally they have met in person, know a bit about each other personally as well as professionally, have a sense of communication and work styles, and what the individual strengths, weaknesses and points of view are. Companies need to consciously and actively help people get to know each other in these ways as much as possi

Challenges to Pursue by Jim Rohn

Challenges to Pursue by Jim Rohn Here’s a list of 15 challenges to pursue, excerpted from the 2004 Jim Rohn Weekend Leadership Event —his last recorded weekend event. Review Your Performance. Whether it’s communication, whether it’s activity, whether it’s a CEO, whether it’s on the job. Here’s what my father said: “Always do more than you are paid for to make an investment in your future.” Now some unions would argue with that. My father was so unique. Review your performance—your language with your children. Say, “Have I been too harsh, too strong, too stubborn? Should I have learned to be easier and mixed more compassion with the tough stuff I have to deal with?” And yes, prayer will help. Ask for help to say the right thing, not to ruin it all by poor communication. Face Your Fears. That’s how you conquer them. Don’t dismiss them; face them. Say, “Here’s what I’m afraid of. I wonder what I could do to change that.” Exercise Your Willpower to Change Direction. You don’t have to kee

Be an Optimist Without Being a Fool

There are quite a number of motivational speakers and self-improvement books out there with a surprisingly simple message: believe that success will come easily to you, and it will . There is one small problem in this argument, however, which unfortunately doesn't seem to stop anyone from making it: it is utterly false. In fact, not only is visualizing "effortless success" unhelpful, it is disastrous. This is good advice to give only if you are trying to sabotage the recipient. It is a recipe for failure. And no, I'm not overstating it. But how can this be? Isn't optimism a good thing? Yes it is. Optimism and the confidence it creates are essential for creating and sustaining the motivation you need to reach your goals. Albert Bandura , one of the founding fathers of scientific psychology, discovered decades ago that perhaps the best predictor of an individual's success is whether or not they believe they will succeed. Thousands and thousands of experiments l

The Most Important Question a Manager Can Ask

When is the last time you asked the group you manage, and the individuals in it, this simple question: What can I do to help you be more effective? What question could be more central to being a good boss ? If you want to manage and lead successfully, you've got to know what the people doing the work need. So why not ask them? But the truth is, this question is not asked by bosses nearly enough. You'll get a variety of answers, especially in the beginning — including non-answers ("Gee, nothing. Keep doing what you're doing.") and requests you can't do much about — personal problems, company policies you can't change, complaints about colleagues who make this person's work life miserable, as well as personal requests you can't or won't address (such as "Raise my pay" from someone whose performance is mediocre). Take everything under advisement, if you can't respond immediately. Promise to take action when you think it's warrant

Nine Things Successful People Do Differently

Why have you been so successful in reaching some of your goals, but not others? If you aren't sure, you are far from alone in your confusion. It turns out that even brilliant, highly accomplished people are pretty lousy when it comes to understanding why they succeed or fail. The intuitive answer — that you are born predisposed to certain talents and lacking in others — is really just one small piece of the puzzle. In fact, decades of research on achievement suggests that successful people reach their goals not simply because of who they are, but more often because of what they do . 1. Get specific . When you set yourself a goal, try to be as specific as possible. "Lose 5 pounds" is a better goal than "lose some weight," because it gives you a clear idea of what success looks like. Knowing exactly what you want to achieve keeps you motivated until you get there. Also, think about the specific actions that need to be taken to reach your goal. Just promising yo

I believe Poem

I believe that what comes first is family I believe in making the most of a beautiful day And it’s not the end until everything’s okay I believe absence makes the heart grow fonder I believe you will lose if you sit and wonder I believe every experience teaches you a lesson And nothing cures better then a drinking session I believe that the sun shines after the rain I believe if you don’t get hurt you’ll never gain I believe in not doing things the easy way I believe that being selfish doesn’t pay I believe there is nothing better then a good laugh I believe the whole world is a stage I believe we only get better with age I believe that dreams do come true I believe there’s destiny for me and you I believe that good things come to those who wait I believe something good comes from something bad I believe that for tears of happiness there are tears of sad I believe the good you do will be rewarded well I believe sometimes there is no explanation I believe mone

The Four Personas of the Next-Generation CIO

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Five years ago, Chief Information Officers (CIOs) were on top of the world. These executives played mission-critical roles in driving multi-million dollar projects that delivered massive change. However, a global recession and the inability of CIOs to deliver on business value have tarnished their status. Today's CIOs are under pressure to deliver on requests for innovation, cost reduction, connectivity, and a growing demand for business intelligence. Just as previous technology and business shifts have changed the role of the CIO, the new, more consumer-oriented business models of the social revolution will favor a new breed of business and technology leader. These leaders will have to navigate myriad converging and disruptive technologies, align new initiatives to both business value and technology feasibility, and identify strategies to leverage existing investments to fund innovation. Consequently, the role of the CIO will evolve. Many next-generation technology leaders will s

Delivering the Speech of My Life

The transformation from a firebrand speaker to a crowd pulling speaker was in focus and intention. At first, my focus was all on me: "I'm going to screw this up so bad." "I have nothing intelligent to say, and this guy will see through me in about three seconds." "I'm Italian. I'm dumb. I can't compete with these smart people." But over time I decided I wanted to win. And to win I was going to have to convince the judge — to move him or her somehow. And then it became fun. Because it was no longer about me. It was about my audience: getting listeners from here to there — changing their mind — actually having them leave the room thinking differently than when they entered. And that's powerful. It's been a blast ever since. Here's some of what I've learned in my years of public speaking. If you have to knock it out of the park, follow these basic rules: Know your goal. When the speech is over, what do you want the audience sa

My Gratitude Train Nov-2010 to Mar-2011

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- I am grateful to have started a new project a day after I landed. Thanks AV, GL and Deloitte - I am grateful for my wife and son to come and pick me up from Airport. I so missed you guys - I am so grateful to hear that my son's top 3 things today were - Soccer, sleeping with Dad and picking dad from the airport. My son is a remarkable and loving kid. I am so blessed as a dad. - I am so grateful for my little sis for staying back and taking care of Uppa. You are doing an enormous sacrifice. Thank You, Thank You and Thank You. about 16 hours ago · Reply · Awesome! Menu - I am grateful to Ashraf Moothamma for brining us breakfast and dinner - Thank You. We misunderstood our relationship and realize your importance in the event of a need. - I am grateful to Daddy for constantly taking care of Uppa and his needs. A lot of times your value is not given enough appreciation as it should be given. You never seek glory and always did the right thing. You are a true great person and I nee