Be an Optimist Without Being a Fool

There are quite a number of motivational speakers and self-improvement books out there with a surprisingly simple message: believe that success will come easily to you, and it will. There is one small problem in this argument, however, which unfortunately doesn't seem to stop anyone from making it: it is utterly false.

In fact, not only is visualizing "effortless success" unhelpful, it is disastrous. This is good advice to give only if you are trying to sabotage the recipient. It is a recipe for failure. And no, I'm not overstating it.

But how can this be? Isn't optimism a good thing? Yes it is. Optimism and the confidence it creates are essential for creating and sustaining the motivation you need to reach your goals. Albert Bandura, one of the founding fathers of scientific psychology, discovered decades ago that perhaps the best predictor of an individual's success is whether or not they believe they will succeed. Thousands and thousands of experiments later, he has yet to be proven wrong.

But there is an important caveat: to be successful, you need to understand the vital difference between believing you will succeed, and believing you will succeed easily. Put another way, it's the difference between being a realistic optimist and an unrealistic optimist.

Realistic optimists (the kind Bandura was talking about) believe they will succeed, but also believe they have to make success happen — through things like effort, careful planning, persistence, and choosing the right strategies. They recognize the need for giving serious thought to how they will deal with obstacles. This preparation only increases their confidence in their own ability to get things done.

Unrealistic optimists, on the other hand, believe that success will happen to them — that the universe will reward them for all their positive thinking, or that somehow they will be transformed overnight into the kind of person for whom obstacles cease to exist. (Forgetting that even Superman had Kryptonite. And a secret identity that took a lot of trouble to maintain. And also relationship issues.)

One of the clearest illustrations of the dangers of unrealistic optimism comes from a study of weight loss. Psychologist Gabriele Oettingen asked a group of obese women who had enrolled in a weight-loss program how likely they felt they were to reach their goals. She found that those women who were confident that they would succeed lost 26 pounds more than self-doubters, as expected.

But Oettingen also asked the women to tell her what they imagined their road to success would be like — if they thought they would have a hard time resisting temptation, or if they'd have no problem turning down free doughnuts in the conference room and a second trip to the all-you-can-eat buffet. The results were astounding: women who believed they would succeed easily lost 24 pounds less than those who thought their weight-loss journey would be no walk in the park.

She has found the same pattern of results in studies of students looking for high-paying jobs after college, singles looking to find lasting love, and seniors recovering from hip replacement surgery. Realistic optimists send out more job applications, find the courage to approach potential romantic partners, and work harder on their rehabilitation exercises — in each case, leading to much higher success rates.

Believing that the road to success will be rocky leads to greater success because it forces you to take action. People who are confident that they will succeed, and equally confident that success won't come easily, put in more effort, plan how they'll deal with problems before they arise, and persist longer in the face of difficulty.

Unrealistic optimists are only too happy to tell you that you are "being negative" when you dare to express concerns, harbor reservations, or dwell too long on obstacles that stand in the way of your goal. In truth, this kind of thinking is a necessary step in any successful endeavor, and it is not at all antithetical to confident optimism. Focusing only on what we want, to the exclusion of everything else, is just the kind of naïve and reckless thinking that has landed industry leaders (and at times entire industries) in hot water.

Cultivate your realistic optimism by combining a positive attitude with an honest assessment of the challenges that await you. Don't visualize success — visualize the steps you will take in order to make success happen.

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We're a month into the new year. How are those 2011 goals coming along? Probably not as well as you hoped. If so, you far from alone — in fact, studies suggest that more than half of the people who made New Year's resolutions this year will have broken them by now.

Real change can be hard to come by, and it's tempting to want to start lowering expectations, or throw in the towel on your goal completely. But don't despair, because it's not too late to push the Reset button, and try tackling those goals again. This time around, you'll be better armed.

Most of us place blame for our failures in the wrong places. We believe that we lack the talent, or the willpower, or some other innate ability, to get the job done. But one of the first things you learn when you study achievement for a living is that innate ability (to the extent there is such a thing) tells you nothing about your chances of reaching a goal. My own research, along with decades of other scientific studies of motivation, paint a very different picture — that in fact, like so much in life, it's really all about strategy.

Here are two scientifically-tested strategies that can spell the difference between another year of disappointment, and the significant, lasting changes you have been looking for.

1. Get specific. No, really. Very specific.
Whenever people tell me about their goals, I hear them say that they want to "get ahead at work" or "eat healthier" or "spend less and save more." To which I respond, "OK, but what will success look like? How will you know when you have reached your goal?" Usually, that's followed by a long pause, a look of confusion, and a reply something along the lines of "I hadn't really thought about that."

Taking the time to get specific and spell out exactly what you want to achieve removes the possibility of settling for less — of telling yourself that what you've done is "good enough." Thousands of studies have shown that getting more specific is one of the single most effective steps you can take to reach any goal.

Instead of "getting ahead at work," include a concrete long-term goal, like "a pay raise of at least $_____" or "a promotion to at least the ____ level." Also detail the specific medium-term steps it will take to get there. Has your manager asked you to improve in a certain technical area? Do you know that there are interpersonal issues holding you back? If you know you need to communicate better, make your specific goal something like, "listen attentively without interrupting."

When what you are striving for is vague, it's too tempting to take the easy way out when you've gotten tired, discouraged, or bored. But there's just no fooling yourself if you've set a specific goal — you know when you've reached it and when you haven't. If you haven't, you have little choice but to keep working toward it if you want to succeed.

2. Think about what you want and what stands in the way. Mentally go back and forth.

This strategy is called mental contrasting, and in a nutshell, it involves thinking optimistically about all the wonderful aspects of achieving your goal, while thinking realistically about what it will take to get there.

First, imagine how you will feel attaining your goal. Picture it as vividly as possible in your mind. Next, reflect on the obstacles that stand in your way. For instance, if you wanted to get a better, higher paying job, you would start by imagining the sense of pride and excitement you would feel accepting a lucrative offer at a top firm. Then, you would think about what stands between you and that offer — namely, all the other really outstanding candidates that will be applying for the same job. Kind of makes you want to polish up your resume a bit, doesn't it?

That's called experiencing the necessity to act — it's a psychological state that is crucial for achieving any goal. Daydreaming about how great it will be to land that job can be a lot of fun, but it won't get you anywhere. Mental contrasting turns wishes and daydreams into reality, by bringing into focus what you will need to do to make them happen.

In studies my colleagues and I have conducted — looking at situations ranging from 15-year olds doing summer prep for the PSAT, to HR personnel trying to manage their time better, to singles trying to find a romantic partner, to pediatric nurses trying to improve communication with parents — the results are always the same. Mental contrasting reliably leads to greater effort, energy, planning, and overall higher rates of achieving goals. Taking a few moments to mentally go back and forth between the future you want, and the hurdles you'll have to overcome to get there, will help you find both the clarity and motivation you need to succeed.

In identifying the factors that led to greater success, Wiseman uncovered some interesting gender differences and corresponding tips for success. For example, men are some 22% more likely to achieve their goals if they set specific objectives and write them down. Women are 10% more likely to achieve their goals if they go public and share them with their family and friends.

Perhaps the optimal approach though is to do both these things which is something that Wiseman recommends. Write down your goal together with a list of specific behaviours that are stepping stones towards achieving your goal and then share these with a trusted colleague — maybe one that you who you wouldn't want to lose face with.