Working parent's guide to weekend fun
Working parent's guide to weekend fun (ages 5 to 8)by Naomi WilliamsLast updated: December 2005 | |
Tackle some tasks during the week
Complete a few critical chores during the week, and come Saturday morning you'll both have breathing room and be grateful for it.
• Schedule certain tasks to occur on certain days every week. Jonathan Yackel, a computer science professor in Oshkosh, Wisconsin, and father to three young children, does the weekly grocery shopping for the family on his way home from work every Monday. "I do it by myself, so it's a lot faster than doing it with the kids," he says. He gets home later on Mondays as a result, but it frees him and his wife Lisa, a veterinarian, from having to fit this task into the weekend.
• Take advantage of delivery services. Consider having your groceries delivered to you during the week. It costs a bit more, but it may be worth it, depending on how much time grocery shopping takes each week. Many supermarkets have a Web site where you can place your order — some exclusively Web-based services are available. Also consider taking advantage of locally owned farms that deliver fresh, often organic produce to your doorstep each week or every other week.
• Work the Web. In addition to ordering groceries online, you can take care of a number of tasks and errands from the comfort of your desk chair, including consolidating and paying all your bills; banking; ordering drugstore items; and keeping an electronic calendar with e-mail reminders. Typing in a key word in a search engine will pull up a number of options.
Complete a few critical chores during the week, and come Saturday morning you'll both have breathing room and be grateful for it.
• Schedule certain tasks to occur on certain days every week. Jonathan Yackel, a computer science professor in Oshkosh, Wisconsin, and father to three young children, does the weekly grocery shopping for the family on his way home from work every Monday. "I do it by myself, so it's a lot faster than doing it with the kids," he says. He gets home later on Mondays as a result, but it frees him and his wife Lisa, a veterinarian, from having to fit this task into the weekend.
• Take advantage of delivery services. Consider having your groceries delivered to you during the week. It costs a bit more, but it may be worth it, depending on how much time grocery shopping takes each week. Many supermarkets have a Web site where you can place your order — some exclusively Web-based services are available. Also consider taking advantage of locally owned farms that deliver fresh, often organic produce to your doorstep each week or every other week.
• Work the Web. In addition to ordering groceries online, you can take care of a number of tasks and errands from the comfort of your desk chair, including consolidating and paying all your bills; banking; ordering drugstore items; and keeping an electronic calendar with e-mail reminders. Typing in a key word in a search engine will pull up a number of options.
Have a check-in toward the end of every week
Each week on a specific day (like Wednesday), check in with your spouse about the upcoming weekend to avoid miscommunications and unrealistic expectations, both of which can eat up precious time. Figure out what you're definitely doing (your haircut Saturday morning, the grown-ups-only dinner party Saturday night, and the birthday party your child will be attending on Sunday).
Talk about what else would be nice to fit in (a bike ride, cleaning out the garage, and going to the new exhibit on snakes at the science museum). Make sure you're both clear on details like confirming with the babysitter, directions to dinner, which of you is taking your child to the birthday party, and the museum's weekend hours.
Each week on a specific day (like Wednesday), check in with your spouse about the upcoming weekend to avoid miscommunications and unrealistic expectations, both of which can eat up precious time. Figure out what you're definitely doing (your haircut Saturday morning, the grown-ups-only dinner party Saturday night, and the birthday party your child will be attending on Sunday).
Talk about what else would be nice to fit in (a bike ride, cleaning out the garage, and going to the new exhibit on snakes at the science museum). Make sure you're both clear on details like confirming with the babysitter, directions to dinner, which of you is taking your child to the birthday party, and the museum's weekend hours.
Involve kids in weekend chores
Even young children can play a significant role in keeping the household running. In the San Francisco household of Debra Asher and John O'Hearn, their two kids, four years apart make their own beds, set the table for dinner, and are now learning how to make salad. If you have children of different ages, assign tasks that are age-appropriate, and gradually add additional chores as the kids get older.
"Doing chores together is important," says Joan Wenters, Ph.D., clinical and developmental psychologist with Children's Hospital in Oakland, California. "Children need to learn that this is part of life and need to grow up learning the skills to manage a household. As for the parents, if chores are joint projects with the kids, the weekend doesn't have to be so much of an either/or proposition."
Even young children can play a significant role in keeping the household running. In the San Francisco household of Debra Asher and John O'Hearn, their two kids, four years apart make their own beds, set the table for dinner, and are now learning how to make salad. If you have children of different ages, assign tasks that are age-appropriate, and gradually add additional chores as the kids get older.
"Doing chores together is important," says Joan Wenters, Ph.D., clinical and developmental psychologist with Children's Hospital in Oakland, California. "Children need to learn that this is part of life and need to grow up learning the skills to manage a household. As for the parents, if chores are joint projects with the kids, the weekend doesn't have to be so much of an either/or proposition."
Establish weekend family rituals
This is challenging, but the payoff is worth it. You'll not only develop an archive of family memories but you'll also raise cooperative kids.
"It's important to develop that expectation that you do things as a family," says Wenters. And part of family time involves a little compromise. "Kids also need to learn that you don't always get to do your first-choice thing."
Wenters recommends giving kids input on family activities. "Offer several different activities, or rotate who gets to choose — one child this time, the other child next time, then maybe Mom's or Dad's turn. Or sit down as a family and make a list of different things everyone wants to do, and use that as an activity pool to chose from."
Some suggestions:
• Attend religious services. Aside from the spiritual and community benefits of belonging to a church (or synagogue or mosque), you may also find that this becomes your principal and most reliable weekly activity as a family.
• Make mealtimes special. The Yackels rotate visits to inexpensive family-friendly eateries in their area for a weekly Friday dinner out. A leisurely Sunday morning breakfast of pancakes or waffles is a ritual at the Asher-O'Hearn household. After a week of rushed bowls of cereal or bagels wolfed down in the car, it's a special treat to be able to make and enjoy a hearty breakfast. Get your kids involved in measuring flour or cracking eggs, and preparation can be part of the ritual, too.
• Settle down for some screen time. A family movie-rental night is always a hit. Cut the lights, add popcorn, and you've got your own home theater.
This is challenging, but the payoff is worth it. You'll not only develop an archive of family memories but you'll also raise cooperative kids.
"It's important to develop that expectation that you do things as a family," says Wenters. And part of family time involves a little compromise. "Kids also need to learn that you don't always get to do your first-choice thing."
Wenters recommends giving kids input on family activities. "Offer several different activities, or rotate who gets to choose — one child this time, the other child next time, then maybe Mom's or Dad's turn. Or sit down as a family and make a list of different things everyone wants to do, and use that as an activity pool to chose from."
Some suggestions:
• Attend religious services. Aside from the spiritual and community benefits of belonging to a church (or synagogue or mosque), you may also find that this becomes your principal and most reliable weekly activity as a family.
• Make mealtimes special. The Yackels rotate visits to inexpensive family-friendly eateries in their area for a weekly Friday dinner out. A leisurely Sunday morning breakfast of pancakes or waffles is a ritual at the Asher-O'Hearn household. After a week of rushed bowls of cereal or bagels wolfed down in the car, it's a special treat to be able to make and enjoy a hearty breakfast. Get your kids involved in measuring flour or cracking eggs, and preparation can be part of the ritual, too.
• Settle down for some screen time. A family movie-rental night is always a hit. Cut the lights, add popcorn, and you've got your own home theater.
Have a few fun activities at-the-ready
In addition to your weekend rituals, you'll want to add some surprising, new activities to the mix. Here are some options:
• Take advantage of local happenings. Memberships to your local zoo, science museum, or children's museum pay for themselves right here. Keep notes about special local events in a handy place like the kitchen bulletin board. "Hey, if we leave right now, we'll catch the penguin-feeding at the zoo!" can get even the grumpiest kid moving. Need ideas? Consider these options for great day trips.
• Do an art project. Begin shredding the already-read Sunday paper into hundreds of pieces; your child will eagerly join you in this "mischievous" act. Together, dump the paper shreds into a bucket and cover them with water. Now you have a bucketful of paper pulp — and an opportunity to make your own paper. Pour it onto a fine mesh screen. A small window screen works well. Make sure all the areas of the screen are covered evenly and you haven't left any holes. Put some bricks on the pulp-covered screen and leave it in the yard for a day or so to drain. Then take the bricks off (just before the paper is completely dry). Voila: A sheet of homemade paper, 100 percent post-consumer waste!
• Come up with all-inclusive activities. For families with children of different ages, Wenters suggests developing projects that include age-specific tasks for everyone, like a family scrapbook: A preschooler can sort pictures, a grade-schooler can glue them on pages, and you can write the captions. Or make a family movie. "A 4-year-old can act, while a 9-year-old can direct," she says, while Mom or Dad runs the camera.
In addition to your weekend rituals, you'll want to add some surprising, new activities to the mix. Here are some options:
• Take advantage of local happenings. Memberships to your local zoo, science museum, or children's museum pay for themselves right here. Keep notes about special local events in a handy place like the kitchen bulletin board. "Hey, if we leave right now, we'll catch the penguin-feeding at the zoo!" can get even the grumpiest kid moving. Need ideas? Consider these options for great day trips.
• Do an art project. Begin shredding the already-read Sunday paper into hundreds of pieces; your child will eagerly join you in this "mischievous" act. Together, dump the paper shreds into a bucket and cover them with water. Now you have a bucketful of paper pulp — and an opportunity to make your own paper. Pour it onto a fine mesh screen. A small window screen works well. Make sure all the areas of the screen are covered evenly and you haven't left any holes. Put some bricks on the pulp-covered screen and leave it in the yard for a day or so to drain. Then take the bricks off (just before the paper is completely dry). Voila: A sheet of homemade paper, 100 percent post-consumer waste!
• Come up with all-inclusive activities. For families with children of different ages, Wenters suggests developing projects that include age-specific tasks for everyone, like a family scrapbook: A preschooler can sort pictures, a grade-schooler can glue them on pages, and you can write the captions. Or make a family movie. "A 4-year-old can act, while a 9-year-old can direct," she says, while Mom or Dad runs the camera.
Schedule downtime
Having at least one weekend morning free of any scheduled activities is key to both relaxation and a young child's budding imagination. "If we try too hard to create the 'Disneyland phenomenon' every weekend, our kids come to expect that, and they don't learn how to create their own leisure activities," Wenters says.
Some of the most relaxing and enjoyable family moments are those in which each family member is home happily doing their own thing — Mom and Dad reading the newspaper next to a child contentedly drawing a picture, punctuated by chit-chat on the order of "Are you done with that section?" or "Mommy, look what I drew!"
Your children learn that weekends are great — not just because Mom and Dad are more available to them, but because they get unfettered time to create their own fun.
Having at least one weekend morning free of any scheduled activities is key to both relaxation and a young child's budding imagination. "If we try too hard to create the 'Disneyland phenomenon' every weekend, our kids come to expect that, and they don't learn how to create their own leisure activities," Wenters says.
Some of the most relaxing and enjoyable family moments are those in which each family member is home happily doing their own thing — Mom and Dad reading the newspaper next to a child contentedly drawing a picture, punctuated by chit-chat on the order of "Are you done with that section?" or "Mommy, look what I drew!"
Your children learn that weekends are great — not just because Mom and Dad are more available to them, but because they get unfettered time to create their own fun.
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