How to tickle your funny bone with your kid
You shouldn't overreact to your child's negative feelings. It's normal for kids to become oversensitive or clingy or nervous at times because of something in their environment, but it's not an unhappiness.
For better or worse, children pick up on their parents' moods. Even young babies imitate their parents' emotional style, which actually activates specific neural pathways.
In other words, when you smile, your child smiles and his brain becomes wired for smiling. But be genuine your child will sense if you're acting. If you make a point of enjoying small things and saying what you're grateful for, you'll be a positive role model for your child.
The first key to creating a happy child says Hallowell. Connect with them, play with them, he advises. If you're having fun with them, they're having fun. If you create what I call a 'connected childhood,' that is by far the best step to guarantee your child will be happy.
Unstructured play allows her to discover what she loves to do build cities out of blocks, teach counting to her stuffed animals which can point her toward a career that will seem like a lifetime of play. Play doesn't mean after-school lessons, organized sports, and other structured, enriching activities. Play is when children invent, create, and daydream.
Hallowell's prescription for creating lifelong happiness includes a surprising twist: Happy people are often those who have mastered a skill. For example, when your child practices catching a ball, he learns from his mistakes, he develops persistence and discipline, and then he experiences the joy of succeeding due to his own efforts.
He also reaps the reward of gaining recognition from others for his accomplishment. Most important, he discovers he has some control over his life: If he tries to do something, he has the satisfaction of finding that, with persistence, he can eventually do it. Research shows that this feeling of control through mastery is an important factor in determining adult happiness.
Hallowell agrees that allowing children a range of experiences, even the difficult or frustrating ones, helps build the reservoir of inner strength that leads to happiness. Whether a child's 7 months old and trying to crawl or 7 years old and struggling with subtraction, Hallowell tells parents, he'll get better at dealing with adversity simply by grappling with it successfully again and again.
Children need to know that it's okay to be unhappy sometimes it's simply part of life. And if we try to squelch any unhappiness, we may be sending the message that it's wrong to feel sad. We need to let them experience their feelings, including sadness.
They learn that no matter what happens, they can find a solution. This doesn't mean children shouldn't ask for help if they need it, but your role is to help them find a solution, not provide it for them. Learning to deal with life's inevitable frustrations and setbacks is critical to your child's future happiness.
Developmental experts who've studied humor say a childhood filled with laughter and fun has benefits that last a lifetime. A sense of humor offers a huge advantage in life, says Lawrence J. Cohen, author of Playful Parenting and a psychologist specializing in children's play. It's one of the best ways people have figured out how to cope with things that are difficult. A child who can easily tap his funny bone is more likely to make strong friendships, be well-liked by peers, and as an adult get along with colleagues at work, manage frustration, diffuse conflict, and suffer less from depression. A sense of humor is also linked to intelligence, self-esteem, creativity, and problem solving.
What's more, humor offers parents rare insight into their children's cognitive development. As humor expert Paul McGhee points out, humor is a form of intellectual play. In infants, laughter is initially stimulated by physical play (tickling, raspberries, and very gentle rough-and-tumble). But as early as 6 or 7 months, when babies start to gain a clearer sense of their world and how it works, they begin taking pleasure in seeing that known world turned on its head the very essence of humor.
Seeing your child get the joke is a sign that he's developing significant intellectual skills. So celebrate when your infant gurgles with glee over a game of peekaboo, your 1-year-old titters madly when you sing Mary Had a Little Lamb in a Tweety Bird voice, your preschooler giggles wildly when you hold a shoe to your ear and say, Hello?, or your 7-year-old pulls off his first pun.
Parents who laugh often and easily with their children understand that humor is an invaluable parenting tool, one that can be used to discipline without conflict. Moms and dads accustomed to yukking it up with their children also find it's a way to stay close.
The best part? Play and laughter, the foundations of humor, are part of our genetic makeup and preceded human language. Robert R. Provine, author of Laughter: A Scientific Investigation and professor of psychology and neuroscience at the University of Maryland, Baltimore County, says thepha-hamp sound of laughter evolved from the sound we make in physical childhood play the panting sound of our breathing when engaged in, say, tickling and rough-and-tumble activities.
The key, says Provine, is that a baby's earliest laughter, and most humor that follows in childhood and into adulthood, is an elemental form of social bonding. It could be said that humor, a more sophisticated means to evoke giggles and guffaws, is a way to re-create that unadulterated joy of childhood laughter when we're completely engaged with another person.
Funny like me
Can humor be taught, or is it an inherited trait like left-handedness and green eyes? While some children seem to be born with a bubbly, good-natured disposition, developmental psychologists say humor can be taught. Think of it as a muscle (one no doubt near the funny bone) that needs to be strengthened and worked regularly.
So what's the secret to teaching your child to get in touch with his inner comedian? Rush out to enroll your toddler in mommy and me stand-up classes? Happily, it's more straightforward than that. If you want to have a fun and funny child, there's no better role model than you.
Being funny shouldn't be another burden to add to an already hefty parenting to-do list (8 a.m.: Make clown pancakes; 1 p.m.: Tell an elephant joke; 5 p.m.: Slip on a banana peel). You don't need to be Ellen DeGeneres to get a laugh. All you need to do is tap into your silliest self.
Fortunately, you have years to develop your act, starting with your goofiest material for baby. Tickle her toes and sing Itsy Bitsy Spidermp in a ridiculous voice. To crack up your toddler, put a shoe on your head and a hat on your foot. Pick up your 4-year-old's favorite action hero and have him announce what's on the menu for dinner.
This isn't to suggest that your household has to be Comedy Central 24/7. But there's plenty of room for playfulness. In an age when parenting can feel like such serious business, with somber advice on the perils of toilet training too late and the importance of signing up for the best preschool on time, it's worth remembering that fun and games have their place.
Humor and fun make your household run more smoothly
Spencer and her kids yuk it up at the beach
says Paula Spencer, mother of four and author of Momfidence!: An Oreo Never Killed Anybody and Other Secrets of Happier Parenting. It helps kids feel more relaxed and confident and have more goodwill toward you.mp Plus, a funny thing happens on your way to making your child giggle. As scientists attest, laughter is indeed infectious. Once you get your child guffawing, you'll find yourself in stitches too.
And why not have fun? You're in the parenting gig for a good 18 years. Your family might as well have a few good laughs along the way.
For better or worse, children pick up on their parents' moods. Even young babies imitate their parents' emotional style, which actually activates specific neural pathways.
In other words, when you smile, your child smiles and his brain becomes wired for smiling. But be genuine your child will sense if you're acting. If you make a point of enjoying small things and saying what you're grateful for, you'll be a positive role model for your child.
The first key to creating a happy child says Hallowell. Connect with them, play with them, he advises. If you're having fun with them, they're having fun. If you create what I call a 'connected childhood,' that is by far the best step to guarantee your child will be happy.
Unstructured play allows her to discover what she loves to do build cities out of blocks, teach counting to her stuffed animals which can point her toward a career that will seem like a lifetime of play. Play doesn't mean after-school lessons, organized sports, and other structured, enriching activities. Play is when children invent, create, and daydream.
Hallowell's prescription for creating lifelong happiness includes a surprising twist: Happy people are often those who have mastered a skill. For example, when your child practices catching a ball, he learns from his mistakes, he develops persistence and discipline, and then he experiences the joy of succeeding due to his own efforts.
He also reaps the reward of gaining recognition from others for his accomplishment. Most important, he discovers he has some control over his life: If he tries to do something, he has the satisfaction of finding that, with persistence, he can eventually do it. Research shows that this feeling of control through mastery is an important factor in determining adult happiness.
Hallowell agrees that allowing children a range of experiences, even the difficult or frustrating ones, helps build the reservoir of inner strength that leads to happiness. Whether a child's 7 months old and trying to crawl or 7 years old and struggling with subtraction, Hallowell tells parents, he'll get better at dealing with adversity simply by grappling with it successfully again and again.
Children need to know that it's okay to be unhappy sometimes it's simply part of life. And if we try to squelch any unhappiness, we may be sending the message that it's wrong to feel sad. We need to let them experience their feelings, including sadness.
They learn that no matter what happens, they can find a solution. This doesn't mean children shouldn't ask for help if they need it, but your role is to help them find a solution, not provide it for them. Learning to deal with life's inevitable frustrations and setbacks is critical to your child's future happiness.
Developmental experts who've studied humor say a childhood filled with laughter and fun has benefits that last a lifetime. A sense of humor offers a huge advantage in life, says Lawrence J. Cohen, author of Playful Parenting and a psychologist specializing in children's play. It's one of the best ways people have figured out how to cope with things that are difficult. A child who can easily tap his funny bone is more likely to make strong friendships, be well-liked by peers, and as an adult get along with colleagues at work, manage frustration, diffuse conflict, and suffer less from depression. A sense of humor is also linked to intelligence, self-esteem, creativity, and problem solving.
What's more, humor offers parents rare insight into their children's cognitive development. As humor expert Paul McGhee points out, humor is a form of intellectual play. In infants, laughter is initially stimulated by physical play (tickling, raspberries, and very gentle rough-and-tumble). But as early as 6 or 7 months, when babies start to gain a clearer sense of their world and how it works, they begin taking pleasure in seeing that known world turned on its head the very essence of humor.
Seeing your child get the joke is a sign that he's developing significant intellectual skills. So celebrate when your infant gurgles with glee over a game of peekaboo, your 1-year-old titters madly when you sing Mary Had a Little Lamb in a Tweety Bird voice, your preschooler giggles wildly when you hold a shoe to your ear and say, Hello?, or your 7-year-old pulls off his first pun.
Parents who laugh often and easily with their children understand that humor is an invaluable parenting tool, one that can be used to discipline without conflict. Moms and dads accustomed to yukking it up with their children also find it's a way to stay close.
The best part? Play and laughter, the foundations of humor, are part of our genetic makeup and preceded human language. Robert R. Provine, author of Laughter: A Scientific Investigation and professor of psychology and neuroscience at the University of Maryland, Baltimore County, says thepha-hamp sound of laughter evolved from the sound we make in physical childhood play the panting sound of our breathing when engaged in, say, tickling and rough-and-tumble activities.
The key, says Provine, is that a baby's earliest laughter, and most humor that follows in childhood and into adulthood, is an elemental form of social bonding. It could be said that humor, a more sophisticated means to evoke giggles and guffaws, is a way to re-create that unadulterated joy of childhood laughter when we're completely engaged with another person.
Funny like me
Can humor be taught, or is it an inherited trait like left-handedness and green eyes? While some children seem to be born with a bubbly, good-natured disposition, developmental psychologists say humor can be taught. Think of it as a muscle (one no doubt near the funny bone) that needs to be strengthened and worked regularly.
So what's the secret to teaching your child to get in touch with his inner comedian? Rush out to enroll your toddler in mommy and me stand-up classes? Happily, it's more straightforward than that. If you want to have a fun and funny child, there's no better role model than you.
Being funny shouldn't be another burden to add to an already hefty parenting to-do list (8 a.m.: Make clown pancakes; 1 p.m.: Tell an elephant joke; 5 p.m.: Slip on a banana peel). You don't need to be Ellen DeGeneres to get a laugh. All you need to do is tap into your silliest self.
Fortunately, you have years to develop your act, starting with your goofiest material for baby. Tickle her toes and sing Itsy Bitsy Spidermp in a ridiculous voice. To crack up your toddler, put a shoe on your head and a hat on your foot. Pick up your 4-year-old's favorite action hero and have him announce what's on the menu for dinner.
This isn't to suggest that your household has to be Comedy Central 24/7. But there's plenty of room for playfulness. In an age when parenting can feel like such serious business, with somber advice on the perils of toilet training too late and the importance of signing up for the best preschool on time, it's worth remembering that fun and games have their place.
Humor and fun make your household run more smoothly
Spencer and her kids yuk it up at the beach
says Paula Spencer, mother of four and author of Momfidence!: An Oreo Never Killed Anybody and Other Secrets of Happier Parenting. It helps kids feel more relaxed and confident and have more goodwill toward you.mp Plus, a funny thing happens on your way to making your child giggle. As scientists attest, laughter is indeed infectious. Once you get your child guffawing, you'll find yourself in stitches too.
And why not have fun? You're in the parenting gig for a good 18 years. Your family might as well have a few good laughs along the way.
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